Rescue Mission Blog

When do you know you're finished?

  

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"The central defect of evil isn't the sin, but the refusal to acknowledge it"

M. Scott Peck

Every day there are organizations which are going through serious crisis.  It may be brought on by leadership failure, market and economic factors, institutional resistance or more.  Likewise there are many people who have made a New Year resolution to finally find a new job because they don't want to work for a particular boss or company anymore.

One of the toughest things to know is when a work relationship is finally reached it's beneficial end.  Staff members tend to keep working despite disagreements with management because they perceive they don't have other options.  Management tends to keep team members on board despite the fact they don't see eye to eye on performance, philosophy and strategy because they don't want to take away another persons likelihood.  

Clue: Is the problem or crisis acknowledged?  

Often you know you've reached a point where you need to bail on an organization (or the organization needs to part ways with a staff member) when there is a stubborn refusal to even acknowledge the problem exists.

Feedback: Are you in a work situation where you are looking for solutions and the other side isn't even acknowledging a problem? What steps do you recommend others take in this situation?  What has worked for you?

David Curry

Turning off your work email

  

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This weekend I did something that many people cannot do.  I turned off my work email so that I wouldn't be distracted from my time with my family and friends.  

I say that many people cannot do that, although I don't mean that most of us are prohibited from shutting off their email.  What I mean is that apparently, like any addiction or compulsion, they are unable to turn it off.  

Saturday, Sunday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, evenings, early mornings, family dinners and during your child's basketball game; Email has become a leash that you are invisibly tied to and that keeps you from being fully engaged in reality and what is happening right in front of you.  

Turn it off on occasion. Open up your phone or ipad device, go into the control panel and just click "off" next to "mail". (That way when you look at it you won't see all those emails sitting there screaming at you to answer)

It's important to note that my job requires me to be on call and available 24/7, yet this doesn't mean that I have to be responding at a moments notice to anything anyone anywhere things might need to be in my inbox.  

It will add peace of mind, help you to be more engaged and a better spouse, parent, and friend.  It will also help you be more engaged when you return to work.  Ready to start your week and your day with energy.

What are the barriers to you turning off you email for the weekend?  Are you planning on checking your email on Christmas weekend? If so, why? 

David Curry

Recognizing your genius

  

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"As a painter, I will never amount to anything.

I am absolutely sure of it. " 

Vincent Van Gogh 

When you're down,

remember that often we don't have the best perspective

on the impact of our work,

life and friendship.

David Curry

Gifts from the heart

  

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At some point this month, you may run out of money for gifts, but your Christmas list still has names on it.  I know that feeling, and it doesn't feel good.

However, unless you are dealing with little children (or adults that act like one), giving a gift that you created yourself will be more meaningful than anything you could buy.

I credit my wife Kate with teaching me this.  She has a creative spirit and loves to make gifts and create something really unique that her friends love.  Whether it's a handmade card, a floral arrangement or a piece of art, there are many things you can do to show you care without breaking the bank.

Don't accept pressure to be the big spender when you can't afford it.  Create something from things you have, with that someone special in mind, that will show you love and appreciate them.  Often, it's just creating fun experiences together.  Whatever it is, the most important thing is that your gift comes from the heart.

What are some creative, fun ways to give homemade gifts? If you have any ideas to share, please do.

David Curry

Thanksgiving rule: Happy people give

  

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Bunches of studies have been done on happiness and there are some common findings that we know for sure.  Happy people are busy, they keep active, they live in the present - enjoying the days and moments they have in front of them.  And...they are givers.

You can't be happy hoarding, withholding, and isolating.  You need others and you need to include others in what you're doing and enjoying.  

So this Thanksgiving, share, give, volunteer, and spend as much time as you can with people you love.

What can you give?

1.  Your time

2.  Your love

3.  Your attention

4.  Your words of encouragement

David Curry

What I'm Thankful for

  

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Gratitude isn't just counting your blessings, it has the capacity to multiply your appreciation and thankfulness.

It's certainly true in my case.  This year as I think of all I'm thankful for, the list is long.  Here are just a few highlights:

1. My family.  I'm so thankful for those around me who share life with me and make it fun.  My wife, my boys, and all the rest of my family are such a blessing.  Don't fail to appreciate those closest to you.

2. The team I work with at the Rescue Mission.  I'm blessed to work with great, dedicated people.  Our staff, board, and volunteers are some of the best people on earth and I'm glad to work along side of them.

3.  Friends.  I'm so blessed to have close friends.  I've seen recently that most adults don't have even one best friend.  How sad is that? I couldnt' do it without my group of best friends.  They keep it real and they great fun.

4. My church.  I'm fortunate to have a great church that refreshes and challenges me on a spiritual level.  I appreciate my church and all the great community it has brought to my life.

5.  Health.  I've had a few aches and pains, but basically I'm blessed to be healthy every day.  This is one not to be taken for granted.  

6. Community  I love living in the northwest and am so glad for beautiful fall days.  Living in Tacoma is great.  Our neighborhood has great restaurants, coffee shops, a little movie theater, it's a great place to live.

There's so much more I could list, but I wanted to just give you some highglights, not bore you to death.

What are you thankful for?

David Curry

Journaling through challenging days.

  

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Today my family is honoring the life of my grandmother, Frances Glassy, who died last week at 98 1/2 years of age after a great, long life. Going through the process of grieving, (even though we are so grateful for her peaceful passing and her reuniting in heaven), has reminded me of the importance of journaling and writing as a part of the healing process.

For many years I've respected people who were able, in times of national crisis and personal difficultly to write a great eulogy, or give a comforting speech. There have been some great eulogies, here is a link to a few. With that in mind I wrote a eulogy for my grandmother which I am reading today at the funeral. But it's not the giving of the speech that brings the healing, it's the journaling of the feelings that begins the process. It was a cathartic experience.

What difficulty are you going through? Often it's hard to identity, let alone deal with your emotions. I encourage you to journal, write them out and try to make sense of it all that way. I've found it very helpful.

David Curry

Bonus:

For those that are interested. Here is the eulogy I wrote for my grandmother. i took several hours, and it's quite personal, but it gives you an idea of how someone might journal their emotions and thoughts to help them cope with difficulty.

Eulogy for Frances May Glassy

Today we gather to honor and remember the long life of a truly great woman.

Greatest shouldn't be understood as fame. She certainly wasn't known to many people outside of her group of family and friends. Nor should greatness only be understood as power, a classical understanding, Frances couldn't be described as politically influential, by any means. Nor did she have outstanding financial resources that would somehow put her in the category of greatness.

Frances was great because she developed a significant list of personal qualities that make someone fit to be called great. Qualities that everyone of us here would love to have. She was loving, loyal, kind, fun, disciplined, giving, caring, thoughtful, responsible, a selfless person. Frances was a great listener - was more interested in trying to care for others, than to be care for herself. She experienced difficulty, pain and disappointment in her life, but she didn't dwell on it or live in that territory for too long. She had a great set of priorities. Putting people first, taking care of your own and your responsibilities, and then having a good time. Frances May Glassy was a great woman.

Born to Franz and Velma Hanson in Lisbon, North Dakota on May 4th, 1913. Frances and her soon-to-be-seven siblings, lived and grew up on a farm in Gwinner, North Dakota. On a cold day in the Northwest, maybe an inch or two of snow, she could be coaxed into telling stories of some truly freezing winters on the farm. She would also on occasion tell stories of cooking and baking with her mother on the farm. And looking after her brothers as they got into mischief. She loved her brothers and sisters very much and always looked forward to passing the time with them.

She was a North Dakota girl, from Swedish parents, and it showed all her life. Yet the majority of her life was lived here in Tacoma, where she moved with her parents in 1937. She had a series of jobs as a housekeeper and nanny for some wealthy families in North Tacoma. She did this sort of work until she met Frank Glassy at a dance. She feel in love and married Frank and they started a family.

Her daughters, Barbara and Sharon, were her pride and joy. They formed a strong unit through tough times, with husband Frank passing away when the girls were still young and in school. Sharon and Barbara remained her greatest accomplishment and biggest source of pride. She would always comment to me about my mother, Barbara. How hard she worked, what a great mom she was to us kids and how she always kept us clean. Cleanliness was a big measure of success to Frances in regards to motherhood.

She was equally proud of Sharon, for all that she accomplished and the way in which she was able to work her way up to such responsible positions at the City of Tacoma and Port of Tacoma. Frances would often comment about what a blessing Sharon was and how grateful she was for the manner in which Sharon cared for her, and everyone else.

Comments were all you would get from Frances, because among her many qualities talkative wasn't one of them. But, her comments were alway right on. And you come to treasure them.

Frances worked hard all her life. She had many families whose home she faithfully cleaned. She faithfully stayed in contact with many of those families after she retired. Think of all she accomplished - it is pretty significant. She raised a family, largely by herself. Paid for her house and property, and managed her apartments on 38th street.  She worked every weekday, waking up early and taking the bus to and from work. My brothers and sister will remember waiting for Grandma to get off the bus so we could go into her house to be with her.

I often wonder if some of her good health in later life wasn't due to the fact that she walked everywhere. She would walk to the store for groceries, walk to the bus stop. She walked.

She had a tremendous influence on her grandchildren. Rare was the weekend when there was not a grandchild asleep on her living room floor, in front of the tv. Many of us count some of the best nights of our life as those cuddled in a sleeping bag in her home. She cared about our jobs, families, and the every day going's on. Dean and I would make a point to call her from wherever we happened to be and fill her in on the details of our trips. Becky was her companion and friend and they spoke nearly every day. Stuart and his family were important to her and she loved to see him out at the camp. She loved Steven, and his family. At church, she faithfully slept through all of Dean's sermons.

Her great grandchildren all loved and cared for her, and she for them. Although her later years were obviously less active (she once commented to me that she missed being able to babysit), still her great grandchildren grew to know and appreciate her.

Food was her language to show her love and she spoke that language fluently. And she was so gifted at baking and cooking that every member of our family has a favorite dish, cookie, or baked good. Some of us have dozens of favorites. Every food was comfort food when she made it. She took time to serve what you liked, presented in a way that somehow made it taste better.

Francis May Glassy passed away on November 5th, 2011, alone for a few moments - napping while watching a cooking show. There is a theory in psychology, among those who study grief and dying, that some elderly people pass away when they are by themselves, alone, because in their spirit they don't want to burden their loved ones with watching them pass. That certainly sounds like Frances. She was alone for a bit, Sharon was outside doing yard work, Becky had just visited earlier in the day, Barbara had called and talked that morning. She was loved. She sat down and nodded off and didn't wake up.

Those closest to her - those in this room - didn't want her to go. We've shed tears over her passing.

But let's review this for just a moment: She lived in her own home until she passed. She was overwhelmingly loved. Frances was relatively healthy until the day she died and didn't spend a day in nursing home or hospital. She did use a walker...for just two days. On the day she passed away there wasn't one person who she was at odds with. Her faith and understanding of Jesus grew in the last years of her life and she went home to be with her savior after a long, life. 98 1/2 years.

So we will miss her. But what about that would you change? Nothing. There's nothing you would change, except...how about 99 years? How about 100? How about one more day?

During her life she saw a lot of change. There were no cell phones, or personal computers in 1913. Her home didn't even have indoor plumbing. Yet the last book she read was on a kindle. And she occasionally watched the church service streaming over the internet.

So many things changed during her lifetime. Yet the things she left behind were timeless. She was a loving, caring, giving person. And we loved her very much. She truly was a GREAT person, by every meaningful measure, and she will be missed. Amen

The value of being thankful

  

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If memory serves me correctly, I bought my first cell phone in 1992.  It was a motorola, and I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.  I don't remember exactly what I paid for it, but I think it was about $250.  

At that point I paid by the minute, and those minutes were precious. Making a phone call was a big committment, and a sign that any/all of a these things were true: 

1. I was dying by the side of the road

2.  I really needed to talk to you for 30 seconds, but no more than 30 seconds.

3. I wanted to illustrate how very cool I was.

Making a phone call isn't what it used to be.  It doesn't cost me more to call across country and I i have unlimited minutes.  No big deal.

Value can be very situational.  It changes over time, with geography and with your values.

Don't take things for granted because you're young, healthy, because you're rich (by world standards), or because you have plenty of whatever you want.  You never know how long it will last, and when you'll be regretting you didn't value it more carefully.

This is true whether we are talking about water, the ability to walk, clean air to breath, having your loved ones with you, having a home or being employed.  

You may not think of yourself as having it all, but maybe you have lost perspective. Do you have a place to sleep at night?  Do you have food to eat each day? Do you have people who love you?  Do you have meaningful labor? Do you have clothes on your back? Do you have water to drink?

Take it all in and be thankful.

David Curry

Book Review: Life Lessons from Steve Jobs bio

  

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Since his passing few weeks ago, people have been revisiting the life and times of Steve Jobs.  As I've said in a previous post, his life and passing are significant for this generation in the same way Einstein, Ben Franklin and Alexander Graham Bell were in their generation.

Just this week his authorized biography, Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson, came out and i read it in just a few seatings, despite the fact that the book is over 600 pages long.  Yes, it's that good. Steve lead a fascinating life and his way of looking at the world was totally unique.  

Most people will read it for the interesting tidbits of history on the development of technologies that have and will change the way life works, and on that note its very interesting.  But I felt some of the largest lessons of the book were the life lessons that is are embedded in his story.  It's hard to read his story without having to do some thinking about how he lived his life, not just about the tools he created.

Here are a few of lesson I took from his story:

1.  Standards matter.  One of the thread that runs throughout the book is that Steve held really high standards, and this was part of his genius in creating really unusual technological impacts in his lifetime.  He often refused to settle on something he found below his standards, even when everyone else was ready to give in and move on.  He held to his principles and was thus able to jar loose the status quo.

2.  People matter more.  unfortunately, one of the lesson learned was that he often belittled people needlessly to get his way, most often earlier in his life.  It's hard to imagine he couln't have acheived the outcomes without crazy outbursts and ridiculing people when they were working hard.  

3.  Focus on things you love.  He was really passionate about creating great products and he did.  Creating great products isn't my passion, but I could see the lesson for my own life, go all in.  

4.  Get first things first.  Steve Jobs was a seeker, who sought spiritual peace throughout his life, but it seemed like faith was something he was putting second in his life.  His biographer noted that although he studied Zen buddhism, it didn't seem to bring him any peace and tranquility personally.  My personal faith in Jesus, which I've been very public about, has given me so much solace and guidance through the difficulties and uncertainties of life that I can't help but feel the spiritual part of life is the primary part of who we are.  

I'm curious what lessons you may have pulled from his biography, life, and work.  What do you think of my list and what would you disagree with?  Let me know.

David Curry

Every Non-Profit Leaders Challenge

  

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The world is trying to make you and just like everybody else.  To fit us into a mold that fits someones preconceived notion of what a leader or individual should be.  With the proliferation of advise on the internet and in books, you could very likely be getting opposite advise from well-meaning experts on the same subject, within moments of one another.

Even more likely is that you are working hard to try to please competing constituents, balancing what you think you believe, with what your donors, staff, and clients feel you should be doing.  

What is the answer the challenge of leaders and individuals who are pulled in multiple directions?  

Set yourself free from the good-opinion of others and do the right thing in love.

The poet e.e. cummings said this: "to be nobody but yourself--in a world that is doing its best day and night to make you somebody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting"

 Have faith that God has a plan and a purpose for your life and that you are the right person in the right place at just the right time.

David Curry