Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Thu, Jun 21, 2012
The Rescue Mission New Life Program helps those that are struggling to be free from the grips of addiction and the lifestyle it produces.
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Wed, May 23, 2012
"Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better." Jim Rohn
When life hits you hard, it's tempting to look around to see if there is someone or something to blame for the challenges you face. It's your parents fault, the economy is struggling, it all started with 9/11, or blame it on your teachers. Finding targets for blame is easy enough, but accepting responsibility for your actions, and for your response to real wrongs that have been done to you, is an inside job.
Better to concentrate on being ready, on being great and generous of spirit, than to look for reasons why you can't succeed and can't be happy.
It takes a lot of emotional strength to deal with your own issues rather than search for convenient places for blame, but in the end you will end up authentic and genuinely strong.
What circumstances in your life are you pushing onto others, when you could and should be accepting responsibility?
David Curry
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Wed, Apr 25, 2012
From the outside looking in on a relationship, it appears easy to spot enabling. You can be objective, you clearly understand the motives of the addicted, and you know that the one who is "helping" the addict, is actually making it easier for the addict to live the addictive lifestyle. The enabler is paying the bills, covering up for the addict, and generally doing all the things enablers do.
But when looking at our own behaviors and examining our own relationships we have rationalizations and excuses for why we enable. Yes, you realize you are making excuses for the addict, but no one understands them like you do. of course you understand that providing financial support to an addict is dangerous enabling, but you think in this situation it's different. There is no shortage of excuses, and we are likely to cling to any and all to excuse our own behavior.
Enabling is any behavior which removes or softens consequences of addiction. To properly examine your own behavior relating to an addict you have to focus on the behavior, not the reason or excuse given for why the behavior.
In other words, by holding tight to your reason, no matter how justified you feel, you will never be able to grasp whether your behavior is actually making it easier for the person you love, the addict you love, to continue using. In the end, if what you are doing is keeping the person you love active in their addiction - you are enabling - no matter how you may feel about it.
David Curry
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Tue, Feb 21, 2012
We use the word motivation as though it's pixie dust, a special something that magically gives you power wake up early, work hard, and so on. But motivation isn't magical.
Motivation literally is about your "Motive"- the reason you do something. If the reason you do something is significant and meaningful, than the task becomes easier and even fun. What is your reason? If you lack motivation, are you really lacking a compelling reason for that activity, or have you just not focused on the motive?
For me, seeing children in misery and difficulty is unsettling, so I work hard to make sure we can do the maximum possible for homeless families. That's my reason. It's what keeps me motivated even when the work, the tasks in front of me, are boring, troublesome or monotonous.
What is your reason? Share with me what motivates you.
David Curry
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Fri, Feb 17, 2012
Thanks to the power of the internet, I ran across this video made from an inteview with Steve Jobs on how you can shape your life. Good stuff. Enjoy
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Tue, Feb 14, 2012
We're all in love with the power of love. It's an amazing force for good and is without a doubt an incredible motivator and influencer. But for those who have a loved one caught in addiction to drugs and alcohol (or anything else) must understand this concept:
LOVE DOESN'T CHANGE
ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR.
I can almost hear people screaming at their computer. How can you say that!?!?!?! Love can do anything...love is all powerful...love will conquer all.
The truth is that many enablers are hoping that love, the fact that they are absolutely, 100%, supporting the addict in love, will provide the change necessary to be clean and sober. But it doesn't work.
Only REPENTENCE, feeling and acting on the sorrow for the pain and suffering you have caused to yourself and others, can bring the change necessary.
That is why loving, nurturing people are often frustrated by the behavior of the addict. In their heart they believe that if they love enough, or if the addict only understood that they were loved, that the addict would change. However, by insulating the addict from consequences and the pain of their addictive behavior, they are keeping the addict from the things that could bring about sorrow and repentance.
If you disagree, let me know where I'm wrong on this. I'd welcome your feedback.
David Curry
FIRST AID FOR ENABLERS, AVAILABLE ON AMAZON IN PRINT AND KINDLE
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Mon, Feb 13, 2012
To celebrate the publishing of my new book First Aid for Enablers, I'm doing a little mini book tour throughout the Northwest is March, and then along the West Coast in May (dates/locations to be determined). The dates and locations for the local events are set.
The events are free and I will be giving a speech on "How to move from enabling to empowering." Tell those you love about the tour, the book and invite them to come hear me speak.
I look forward to seeing you there.
March 5, 2012: Kirkland, WA
7:00 - 8:00
Kirkland Library
308 Kirkland Ave
Kirkland, 98033
March 7, 2012: Gig Harbor, WA
6:30 – 7:30
Gig Harbor Library
Pierce County Library System
4424 Point Fosdick Drive Northwest
Gig Harbor, WA 98335-1700
March 8, 2012: Federal Way, WA
7:00 – 8:00 pm
Federal Way Regional Library
34200 1st Way South
Federal Way, WA 98003-6508
March 14, 2012: Tacoma, WA
7:00 – 8:00 pm
The Anna Lemon Wheelock Library
3722 N 26th St
Tacoma, Washington 98406
March 26, 2012: Puyallup, WA
7:00 – 8:00 pm
Puyallup Public Library
324 South Meridian
Puyallup, WA 98371
David Curry
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Wed, Feb 08, 2012
Many people support, excuse, provide for addicts because they want to be seen as loving, sweet, supportive people. They feel good when they are rescuing others.
But enabling is always wrong because it makes further dangerous and addictive behavior possible. Without your support the addict's life would quickly fall apart and they would be forced to see the damage they have done to themselves and others, thus making recovery possible.
Because enablers see themselves as loving, and "the only one who understands", it's important to remind enablers of this one idea: It's not about you.
It's the toughest thing for enablers to remember, but it could begin a path to more healthy relationships and recovery.
First Aid for Enablers is available in Kindle or in paperback.
David Curry
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Mon, Feb 06, 2012
In my new book, First Aid for Enablers, I make a statement that some people question, but which I firmly believe to be true: "Where there is an addict, there is always an enabler."
It's impossible to manage a life with addiction unless someone, or many someones, are making excuses, covering bases, paying bills and working around, the addict.
The need nurture and protect the ones we love is natural, yet enabling takes that natural impulse and mutates it into a dangerous mixture. What was once loving and thoughtful, is now co-dependent, sick, selfish and dangerous.
Co-dependent: because the enabler needs the addict to validate them.
Sick: because the enabling activity is helping the addict destroy their life, yet the enabler can't let go.
Selfish: because the enabler often won't let go because of their own needs, not the needs or health of the addict.
Dangerous: because with many drugs the enabling continuous right up until death, when it's too late.
Do you know an addict? Are you tempted to do things for them that a normal person would do themselves? Why is it so hard to see how our actions are contributing to the addiction?
Let me know what you think.
David Curry
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org
Posted by Rescue Mission Team on Tue, Jan 24, 2012
"While average people are thinking negatively about problems, successful people view their problems positively. They love problems. They eat them for breakfast.
Why? Because problems create value, and the more problems you can solve, the more valuable you will be, the more money you will make, the more responsibility you will have."
Brian Klemmer
When Good Intentions Run Smack into Reality
Read all of David Curry's blogs at
http://blog.rescue-mission.org or visit the Rescue Mission at
http://www.rescue-mission.org